Be The First

by Paul Goodchild on July 3, 2016

Post image for Be The First

I’ll be the first to admit I suffer from fear of rejection. Most of us do, if we’re honest.

It’s played a significant role throughout my life. There are many times where it gets superseded, but more often than not it’s there, lurking beneath the surface of many decisions I make.

“Be The First” came up in a podcast I was listening to recently. It refers to the principle of being the first to initiate in human interactions and relationships.

They offer simple examples, such as, be the first to…

  • smile at a stranger
  • say ‘hi’ to the barista in the morning.
  • call a friend
  • offer help

I’ve been reactionary when it comes to any human relationships for a long time.

As we all know, seemingly small events early in our lives can shape us in enormous ways for the rest of it. One such event that I’ve written about before was when a close friend told me to “leave her alone” because I was just “annoying” her – I literally annoyed her with my presence.

I’ve always pulled back from friendships ever since. I never give too much too soon. Instead, I gauge where they’re at, and (re)act accordingly. This ensures they don’t get more “friendship” than they want or need, and protects me from getting hurt.

Win, right?! Not quite.

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Post image for Is being ‘needy’ really so terrible?

It’s been a year since I moved back home after being away for ~12 years.

Probably the biggest challenge I’ve faced has been finding and developing meaningful friendships.

Here’s what I’ve learned… [click to continue reading…]

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