North StarKnowing your North Star infuses you with a power and motivation to “make good art” when it’s otherwise easy to get distracted.

This simple way to articulate this is something I picked up from Gary Vee’s book a while back. What does your life look like 10 years out? Are you getting closer to realising that, and do you even know what that looks like?

It doesn’t mean “I’ll have a yacht when I’m 40”. It goes a bit deeper than that.

What will you have created and achieved? Who will you have connected with along the way? How did you treat the people around you on your way there?

Perhaps capturing Pokemons for 3hrs today might not actually being helping you. Will getting drunk, or watching 4hrs of news/TV do it for you instead?

Before you zone out or go back to sleep, try to picture your life a little beyond where you’re going out next weekend. Imagine how fantastic it would be to design and create your life how you want it.

With your North Star defined, you can always check-in to see if you’re sabotaging yourself, or actually doing your life’s work.

If you don’t know where you’re going, you wont have a clue where you’ll end up. This is lovely while you wander around Seville, but not so great when it’s your life.

Get clear on what your North Star is (keep it simple) and start towards it today.
(Or you could just go out and get pissed)

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Be The First

by Paul Goodchild on July 3, 2016

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I’ll be the first to admit I suffer from fear of rejection. Most of us do, if we’re honest.

It’s played a significant role throughout my life. There are many times where it gets superseded, but more often than not it’s there, lurking beneath the surface of many decisions I make.

“Be The First” came up in a podcast I was listening to recently. It refers to the principle of being the first to initiate in human interactions and relationships.

They offer simple examples, such as, be the first to…

  • smile at a stranger
  • say ‘hi’ to the barista in the morning.
  • call a friend
  • offer help

I’ve been reactionary when it comes to any human relationships for a long time.

As we all know, seemingly small events early in our lives can shape us in enormous ways for the rest of it. One such event that I’ve written about before was when a close friend told me to “leave her alone” because I was just “annoying” her – I literally annoyed her with my presence.

I’ve always pulled back from friendships ever since. I never give too much too soon. Instead, I gauge where they’re at, and (re)act accordingly. This ensures they don’t get more “friendship” than they want or need, and protects me from getting hurt.

Win, right?! Not quite.

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Is being ‘needy’ really so terrible?

February 19, 2016
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It’s been a year since I moved back home after being away for ~12 years. Probably the biggest challenge I’ve faced has been finding and developing meaningful friendships. Here’s what I’ve learned…

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The challenge and reward of realising your self worth

August 13, 2015

Self-worth is a hard thing to nail down. What does it mean and do you have it? Getting clear on what self-worth is, is difficult. I’ve become aware that while I talk the talk, sometimes I haven’t been walking the walk. That’s not to say I lack it completely, but there are certain areas I’m falling […]

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Powerful Musings

July 23, 2015

I’m in an interesting place just now. It’s the beginning of something that I haven’t experienced for a while – Hope. It’s a little tentative, but it grows every day. Not by much, but I’m feeling a return of something important that I’ve forgotten, or perhaps I let go of.

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You can’t selectively numb the emotions you don’t like

January 29, 2015

As the title suggests, when it comes to your emotions, you can’t pick and choose. It’s simple, but most of us are living like we’ve found the secret to happiness – ignoring all the negative feelings we have. I’ve been taking a lot of time out in the last weeks to really dig in to […]

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Just One Thing

December 27, 2014

It’s easy to start thinking of all the new, wonderful things you’ll do with your life when X happens. X can be anything. It can be the 1st of January.  It can be when you get that new job.  It can be when a relationship breaks up and you’re released back into the wild again. […]

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Remember To Look Back And See How Far You’ve Come

August 24, 2014

Aren’t we often reminded to look forward and not to dwell on the past? After-all, the past can’t be changed and we should be moving forward into our future with high hopes and expectations. That’s where our future is! This thinking is flawed. It’s not where you look that counts, it’s how you look at […]

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Being born in a garage doesn’t make you a car

August 10, 2014

My dad gave me a foundational piece of wisdom about 20 years ago, and I caught myself remembering it this morning. I laugh at it now because it sounds a bit silly, but he taught me a valuable lesson when I was still very young.

It came from the fact that I was born in Nigeria. My parents were missionaries at the time and if it’s your time to come, you’ll arrive wherever you’re destined to…

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Expectations – both the Source of Great Joy and Deep Sadness

August 4, 2014

Ever wondered why you feel the way you do? Why did something that happened yesterday upset you so much? After looking back on past event within the greater context of our lives, we often realise it wasn’t such a big deal anyway. But why do we get so upset at the time? What causes us […]

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